Of course, I know I’m not the savior. But as a young pastor more than 35 years ago, I acted and led my church as if I were supposed to solve every problem, answer every question, and fix every conflict. In essence, I acted as if I were the Savior. For other young pastors out there, here’s how I learned that’s not the case:
- I made mistakes from the pulpit. I didn’t always check my facts or verify my illustrations. I didn’t know yet how to interpret the Word properly. I messed up sometimes, and I did it publicly. I’m embarrassed today by even the notes of those first sermons.
- God didn’t always answer my prayers like I thought He would (or should). Not every person for whom I prayed became a believer. The local city didn’t always grant our building and property requests, despite my prayers. Being on my knees didn’t mean that ministry had no difficulties or heartache.
- A few marriages in my church broke up. Some were even couples whose wedding I had led. I thought I could counsel every couple into healing their strife and division, but I was wrong.
- I couldn’t lead even my own family to the Lord. I wasn’t married at the time, but my family of origin were not believers. I led many people in our community to Christ, but I could not reach the people I most loved.
- I continued to deal with my own sin issues. I was too afraid to talk with anyone, so I carried alone the guilt and frustration of my own sin. It’s tough to see yourself as the savior when you also see your sin daily.
- I made some stupid leadership decisions. I didn’t think they were stupid at the time, but I eventually realized otherwise that they were REALLY stupid. Only the graciousness of God’s people kept me from being fired, I’m sure.
- I burned out. I thought a good pastor was involved in everything, every night of the week. I didn’t disciple others, and I didn’t raise up new leaders. My arrogance led to exhaustion.
- I developed an ulcer. As a young rookie pastor I heard a doctor say to me, “You’re dealing with too much stress, and you need to learn how to handle it.” He didn’t know it, but he was saying to me, “You’re not the savior.”
Those stories took place a long time ago, and I trust I’m wiser now. I still prayerfully hope, though, that I don’t live as if I were the savior. Please pray for me that as I preach the Word this weekend, I will point only to the One who truly is the Savior.
Pastors, how did you learn these lessons?
Good article, and challenging. I think we as pastors desire to do the Lord’s work so much we will do all we can to fulfill it. Unfortunately, no one can sustain “burning it on both ends of the wick” as there is always more work than one person can handle.
I think when I hit bottom was when I was in a doctor’s office near to tears. My blood sugar was everywhere, overweight and under exercised, burned out, overwhelmed with the constant demands, exhausted from little sleep, and more. All my ministerial work did not seem to come to anything either. I think the hardest thing for me now is trying to convince my church that pastors are not do-it-all people. In the past, my church has had first-time pastors come in, work out, burn out, then get spit out after two or three years. Unfortunately now, many members think I am lazy and its difficult to convince them that church work is a together work.
Thanks, Steve. Just prayed for you.
My first church i served as Minister of Music and Youth. I tried to do everything–build the choir, build the youth program, do whatever and whenever anyone asked. Consequently my wife and son who was 1 at the tiem suffered because I didn’t have a night at home. Seven nights a week I had something planned, and it almost cost me my marriage and my ministry.
You talked about developing an ulcer, well I went to a good Christian doctor who ran all kind of tests including upper GI. He sat me down and said, “John, you tell that bunch of Baptists over there that you can only do so much. Do what you can and let the rest of it go. I listened, and I recovered.
Yes a true minister wishes that each person he talks to about Jesus would become a believer, but it doesn’t happen. I’m called to plant and water, God gives the increase.
Thank you for your daily blogs. It is a real ministry. I wish that I had had this 47 years ago when I started in the ministry.
Blessings to you, John.