As the spiritual leader in my home, I pray that I lead lovingly and sacrificially. At the same time, I always want to be open to learn from my wife of 27 years as God uses her to grow me. Here are some things I’m still learning from her:
- How to say “no.” She knows her necessary limits, and she lives by them. She sees no need to say “yes” to everything.
- How to be fully comfortable in who I am. Pam knows who she is in Christ, and that’s what matters most to her. In Christ, she humbly and graciously lets nobody intimidate her.
- How to be considerate. She’s the kindest person I’ve ever met in my life. Seriously. She has an incredible knack for figuring out ways to serve others.
- How not to worry. Pam just trusts God. This statement may sound like an exaggeration, but I’ve never seen her worry.
- How to separate work from home. Though she no longer works full-time, how I wish I had her ability to leave work there when the day’s over. I realize that’s not always possible, but I would rest better if I followed her example.
- How to make sure I pay attention to important dates. Pam doesn’t miss birthdays, for example. Frankly, I’ve just trusted her with those things and haven’t paid enough attention to the calendar.
- How to be a supportive fan. I love it when Pam tells me that I’m her favorite preacher. I’m sure that’s more the love of a spouse than an assessment of my preaching, but I sure love hearing those words! I need to be more encouraging to others.
- How to be teachable. Pam’s unafraid to say, “Hey, I don’t understand that. Help me.” Some of us, beginning with me, are less inclined to admit our ignorance.
Tim Keller points out that God uses marriage “for helping each other to become our future glory-selves, the new creations that God will eventually make us.”* If so, what is God teaching you through your spouse?
*Keller, Timothy. The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God(p. 131). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.