Over the years of my church consulting and teaching, I’ve been privy to too many church conflicts exacerbated by a leader’s unwise words. I don’t intend with this post to say that all these leaders had no legitimate issue with their congregation, but I would contend that their words didn’t help:
- “I don’t answer to anyone but God.” We do answer to God, but we also are responsible to those who call us to lead them.
- “I’ll just leave the church.” The problem with saying these words is that the church might just take you up on them.
- “I assure you I’ll keep confidential whatever you tell me.” Because you never know what you’re going to hear, this commitment is a risky one. If the situation demands telling someone else (e.g., child abuse, suicide), you’ve now proven yourself to be untrustworthy.
- “God told me that this is the way we are to go.” It’s always dangerous to claim you have the corner on what God wants.
- “This budget line is for me to use, and I can spend it as I wish.” I’ve heard variations of this statement, and they’re often used to explain away a questionable use of the funds.
- “That’ll never happen to me.” It’s easy to determine that you’ll never do what somebody else has done – until temptation stares you in the face. Stated overconfidence can prove to be sadly unfounded.
- “I give my time and energy, and that counts as my tithe.” Some might debate whether the New Testament requires a tithe, but nobody I know asserts that no financial giving is okay.
- “I’ll be praying for you.” That’s a proper and important word to give to church members . . . unless you’re not likely to pray. It’s bad news when you said you’d pray, but you can’t even remember the issue when your church member gives you an update.
- “I’m the one with the seminary degree.” Obviously, I believe education matters—but I would never advise using it as a club against those with whom you disagree.
- “This is my church.” God has a way of showing us otherwise.
Without throwing any specific church leaders under the bus, what other statements have you heard? How might we help each other avoid the same mistakes?
I must toss myself under the bus on this one. I’ve been wrestling with a difficult and recurring issue. It has had a negative effect on my attitude. Item #2 was tickling the back of my mind more than a couple times. Thanks for the timely dose of reality.
Thanks this hit at the right time. Just had a meeting with church leaders on some issues and these thoughts have been the flesh talking. I was reminded to let God answer and not self.
Basically anything said in a flippant manner concerning the Lord’s work will bring trouble. I also do not like “Well, let’s hope to the Lord this works out…” Hope is not a strategy. If you have a budget reality, pastors and leaders need to go to work to actively make the need known, find alternative funding if the funds are low, and still trust the Lord if they sense He has truly spoken to the need.
Very good post.
Thank you,
Gary