I prayed a long time to find a wife. In fact, I was 30 years old and ten years into my pastoral ministry before I married Pam. Now, I direct my prayers not to find a spouse, but to walk beside and lead the one God has gifted to me. To be honest, my prayers have changed over the 29+ years we’ve been married, but here’s how I pray for her today:
- That she would simply walk with the Lord and live out His love. Pam’s the kindest, godliest person I’ve ever met, and my role is to prayerfully encourage her to continue to be this person. Through our ministry roles, she’s a witness among our neighbors and among the nations.
- That God would provide her opportunities and wisdom to invest in young ladies. Being in a seminary setting helps a lot, but I want Pam to connect with the girls God intends. She doesn’t claim to be a Bible scholar or trained counselor, and she can’t always speak experientially into situations other ladies are facing (e.g., we don’t have children). Still, she leans into the Word, listens to others for wisdom, and trusts the Spirit.
- That she would be comfortable in who she is as a pastor’s wife. She is, so this is not a prayer to change her. I just know that others sometimes put unfair expectations on a pastor’s wife (that’s why, by the way, I previously wrote, “Why My Wife Is Not a Good Pastor’s Wife”).
- That she would never hesitate to speak truth to me. I’ve never known that to happen, either – but I always want her to know that I welcome her thoughts. I’ve learned the hard way that I need to hear her.
- That God would maximize Pam’s incredible gift of hospitality—and that I would be fully supportive. I add that latter phrase because I’m an introvert while Pam’s an extrovert. I love seeing Pam’s joy when she serves others. I just need to love it more….
- That He would keep her healthy. I confess that the COVID-19 crisis has led me to pray much more in this direction.
- That she would know how grateful I am for her. God gave me a great helpmate – the perfect one for me, in fact. I much better understand how to give and receive God’s love because of the way Pam loves me. I cannot imagine life or ministry without her.
- That she would always have laughter in her life. Her sense of humor caught my attention when I first met her, and I delight in the fact that she makes me laugh. Life gets hard sometimes, but I never want her to lose her laughter.
Pastors, how do you pray for your wife? Wives, how do you pray for your husbands?