It happened again this week – I talked with another man who is losing the war with pornography. If you’re losing this battle, too, maybe this covenant (“I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman”—Job 31:1) will help you.
- I will read at least one verse of the Bible each day. Getting into the Word of God daily–even if it’s just for a few minutes—can turn your heart away from the things of the world.
- I will see the glory of Jesus first. You can do that through His Word and through His people. When your relationship with Jesus means that much to you, the fleeting pleasures of pornography lose their power.
- I will see my spouse as God’s gift to me. Seeing your spouse as God’s gift . . . that person uniquely paired with you for God’s glory . . . your partner for life . . . will help you guard against lusting after others.
- I will see my sexuality as God’s gift to my spouse. Your sexuality is not designed for you. It’s one of the ways God has given us to love the person with whom we share our life.
- I will see every other human being as a person created in the image of God. That means that you’ll look at people from the inside out rather than from the outside in. The person whose body you’re idolizing is a human being for whom Jesus died.
- I will not reduce others to an image for my pleasure. That’s what we do when we lust after others. We dehumanize them, reducing them to nothing more than a tool for our excitement. People should matter more to us than that.
- I will see others first as people who need Jesus and pray for them. It’s hard to crave somebody else sexually when you first ask, “I wonder if that person knows Jesus.” Turn lustful thoughts into intentional prayer, and the demons flee for a while.
- I will see my lustful actions for what they are: sin. No rationalizations or hermeneutical gymnastics can deny the clarity of Jesus’ words, “anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her” (Matt 5:28).
- I will recognize my patterns of sin and avoid them. Run from any opportunities that you know can pull you into sin. Don’t be alone if that’s when you’re most susceptible to sin.
- I will see grace as truly amazing. Jesus loves you. He died for you centuries ago, even though He knew then that you would struggle with lust now. That eternal grace should trump any temporary pleasure you seek today.
Print this covenant, and keep it in your wallet — and send it to others who need it as well.
I will beg God moment by moment, if necessary, to protect me and guide me through the day.
Agreed, Robert. All of us need God’s help.
What you have is great but I took it a step further. I have gone through training for this issue and have been helping men for years. One of the most effective thing we did was to have an accountability partner. I did this as part of discipleship. A man knowing he was going to meet with a person who would ask how is your battle with pornography going helped out.
Some men felt they needed more helped and asked their accountability partner to go in and set the filter on their computer and to put the password in so they couldn’t change it. They did the same for their television. They installed covenant eyes.
It was a mandatory that every leader in the church install covenant eyes.
Want to be honest men are losing this battle and most will keep losing it if they fight it alone. As iron sharpens iron so one man sharpens another.
Thanks, Jim, for the good thoughts.