Yesterday, I posted reflections on my fortieth anniversary of ministry. I continue that list today by noting times when I’ve thought about quitting . . . and then explaining why I’ve never done that.
Times when I’ve Thought about Quitting
- When I knew my personal walk wasn’t all it should have been. Letting down in spiritual disciplines, failing in battles of temptation, and struggling with discouragement and depression cost me any sense of peace in my ministry calling.
- When I made leadership mistakes that wounded other people. I never want to hurt others, but it’s happened—and sometimes because I made a dumb leadership move. When you do that, you wonder about your ability.
- When I lost nights of sleep because of internal church conflict. I’ve still not learned fully how to lay these burdens at God’s feet, but bearing the burden was especially difficult early in ministry. Fatigue from the weightiness of church pain can be overwhelming.
- When church members were judgmental, unkind, and ungodly. When you’ve seen enough of that attitude, it’s easy to wonder about other vocational options.
- When I got wrongly engaged to someone God didn’t intend to be my wife. I corrected that problem by ending the engagement, but I offered my resignation to my deacons at the same time. If I couldn’t lead my own life well, how could I shepherd them?
- When I was physically, emotionally, and spiritually burned out. I thought I was responsible for doing everything and being everywhere, and I worked hard toward that end . . . until stomach ulcers slowed me down.
Why I Didn’t/Haven’t Quit
- God’s calling on my life. I can’t get away from my personally undeniable call to preach God’s Word. It’s etched into my heart and mind.
- God’s people who’ve strengthened me. When I’ve struggled the most, God has always sent someone across my path to encourage me and turn my heart toward hope again.
- God’s reminder that even mean church people are created in His image. Sometimes they’re unsaved, actually—but that’s all the more reason to love them.
- God’s world that needs the gospel. When I see 4+billion people with little access to the gospel today, my heart breaks. Quitting, it seems, would be selfish.
- The prayers of God’s people. I have prayer warriors who pray for me every day. When I remember those gifts, I know I can’t give up.
- Glimpses of God’s work and glory. I’ve written about the need for “glimpses” before, but they really do mean a lot to me. Just a glimpse of God’s power is enough for me to press on.
How about you? What’s kept you going?
What keeps me going as far as Christian ministry is concerned? The sense that quitting is not the right thing to do. I would not be happy if I quit. My life would be empty and meaningless. Walking away would only support the negative behavior of those who did not support my ministry. They had fallen into the habit of running off people who did not think like they did and the way they thought really was not Christian. There is always some need I can meet in some way. When I looked back over my life–my experiences and my interests, Christian ministry was what God appeared to be preparing me to do. It would be a waste of the gifts that God has given me to not use them. Jesus did not promise us an easy row to hoe. People may not respond to me the way that I would like them to, but that should not prevent me from loving them and caring about them even though at times I am a bit rough around the corners. Jesus taught us to love our fellow Christians. Sometimes walking away may be the most loving thing to do; other times hanging in there is the most loving thing to do. There is a purpose to everything even if I have not figured it out. God has not thrown up his hands in despair over the human race and Jesus taught us to imitate God.
Chuck, so so good.
These posts like yesterday’s – as well – have so much truth, richness & vast wisdom.
Only one add is the number 12 vs. 10 😉
Thanks for mentoring me through your life through writing.
Sometimes we just stay and “hang in there” not because of anything real spiritual. We did not have anything else to do and we had a family to support….! I once told my wife that I would make the best “greeter” that WalMart ever had. I thought I was going to be out in the street; thought I would be “fired!” But that did not happen. At the time I was preparing emotionally to be gone with no place to go. And that at age 54; that was vocational death for a pastor looking for a church. So for me, it was practical reasons undergirded by all the other reasons you gave. A sense of call to that place was very real. But let’s be honest, sometimes after continual pressure we do things that are not God’s best. But I thank God for His sovereignty even in those times. Most of the time churches have no clue what they sometimes do to the heart of the pastor.
The #5 reason for wanting to quit happened to me before I was in ministry. I was in college and met this girl. We dated for 2 years. My mother could see that she and I were ill suited for a lifetime together. She was involved in Mormonism and tried to get me to convert to that cult. I also thank God for memorized scripture because whenever the Mormons would try to convince me of one of their “truths” God would bring to mind a scripture that refuted that. I was in the USAF when we broke up. I had gone to talk with one of the chaplains on base who was a Baptist. He went into detail and made me realize that the Mormons weren’t ever Christians. Thank You Lord for rescuing me before I made a disastrous mistake.