No church fire I’ve seen begins in full flame. Instead, it usually begins with a spark, a tiny glow that extends itself one flicker at a time until the flame is raging. Here are 12 “spark” phrases – words that suggest a coming fire if the flame is not extinguished:
- “Let’s meet without him (or her).” Such a statement suggests secrecy that is seldom appropriate – and that often leads to division.
- “We were here before you came.” The rest of the statement is understood: “and we’ll be here when you’re gone.” The implication is that some group will outlast the leader.
- “Now, don’t tell anyone . . . .” When you hear these words, it’s usually best to halt the conversation there. What follows is gossip, sometimes deceitfully cloaked as a prayer request.
- “I don’t know everybody anymore.” It’s an honest response to a church’s growth, but it’s also an ominous hint that somebody thinks no more growth is needed.
- “We’ll just designate our funds.” Sure, they’re still giving to the church, but they’re designating funds around something they don’t like. They’re trying to make a point that often has nothing to do with dollars.
- “But if we confront him (or her) . . . .” The apparent need to confront indicates some issue in the church, and the fear to confront suggests the church might tolerate sin. Both sparks signal a problem.
- “I’ll just stop singing.” This one amazes me, frankly. It’s a response from folks who don’t like the music – and it’s evidence they think worship is more about them than about God.
- “Where’s my constitution and by-laws?” The only people who ask this question are those who are trying to prove a point. Even when their point is valid, their approach is often contentious.
- “You can’t tell me what to believe.” This statement is true in some sense, but the church has a right to – and, in fact, must – expect members to stand on the Word of God. Forming Christian doctrine is not intended to be an individual sport.
- “Pastor, I’m not prejudiced, but . . . .” The disclaimer itself betrays the reality: somebody in the church doesn’t like the church reaching others who look different. That’s sin.
- “We’ve never done it that way.” This statement is usually more than an assessment; it’s a challenge to a new approach.
- “God told me.” I do believe God speaks to us through His Word, His Spirit, and His people, but too often these three words precede some wrongly focused personal agenda. It’s dangerous to use God that way.
What other “spark” phrases have you heard?
Great post Chuck! Another ‘spark phrase’ to beware of is, “Several of us have been talking and we think….” Of course this is typically a disguise to share their own complaint, but it often indicates their intention to spread trouble depending on how you respond to them. This phrase can be a veiled threat that should be handled with caution.
True, Scott. Thanks!
“When Brother ___________ was pastor, we….”
Thanks, Brian.
“We don’t have revivals and singings anymore because the people won’t come.”
How can they come if you don’t have them!
Thanks!
“Let’s meet and pray for unity.” While this seems innocent on its surface, often there is an underlying current of resistance.
Thanks, Ricky.
“What are your hours?”
Thanks, John.
And “why aren’t they printed in the bulletin?” !
Thanks, Brian.
We don’t have insurance to cover . . .
Thanks, Charlie.
Your list is so true, – currently living out #8
Thanks, Jon. Praying.
I’m a pastors wife and we’ve been threatened with “we pay your salary, and so preach what we like”.
Thanks for your input, Ethelann.
And your husband has his resume ready I assume? Praying for you and your church.
Great article, Dr. Lawless. Even the best and most unified church has “sparks” of discord in them.
Thanks, Brian. Blessings.
We’ll see what others think about that…
Thanks, Eric.
“Pastor, some of them are saying…”
True. Thanks, Bruce.
spark phrases: The church should be run like a business. There’s too much emphasis on scripture with the children and teens and not enough fun. There’s nothing for me there. I just don’t get anything out of it. “there’s no money in the budget for supplies for the children’s ministry” and the one that strikes fear in my heart; “we just can’t afford to support missions anymore”. You can tell a lot by looking around a church–when it gets to a point where it looks shoddy and unkempt, that is a dire sign.
Thanks!
“Are you getting anything from the sermons? I’m not.”
Thanks, Samuel.
#12 is another one of my pet peeves. You’d better be careful saying God told you to do something. The Bible says the Lord won’t hold him guiltless that takes His name in vain. Another phrase that really sets my teeth on edge is, “My needs aren’t being met.” Since when is church meeting your needs? Whatever happened to self-denial and servanthood?
P.S. Just to be clear, the “you” in my above comment was intended as a generic “you”. It wasn’t aimed at Dr. Lawless or anyone else. My apologies if I caused any misunderstanding.
“They’re all so cruel, they don’t pay attention to My needs”. In other words the complaining whine of an indulged Brat.