You’ve heard it said (and I’ve written it on this site) that people often give a church one shot to make an impression. We may not like that fact, but it’s reality. Here’s why:
- Some visitors are anxious about attending any church. They may be coming because they recognize a need, but they might also be anxiously looking for a reason not to come back. Nervousness about attending church only magnifies anything that is not top notch and turns it into an excuse not to return.
- Many first impressions really do tell us about the church. For example, a church that has no obvious greeters at the doors might well be less than friendly to outsiders—whether or not they recognize or admit it.
- People shop churches. We might wish that weren’t the case, but ignoring it doesn’t help us reach people. The family that has a bad first impression of a church can usually find another church nearby.
- People form impressions even before they enter the building. In fact, people driving by your building (whether or not they’re looking for a church) often form some impression quickly. If they see a rundown building with a grass-filled asphalt parking lot, they’ll make assumptions about your congregation, too.
- We’re trying to reach people who are often impatient and judgmental. That’s the nature of lostness – and we can’t expect non-believers to act otherwise. They’ll give us one shot, and we need to give them our best for God’s glory.
- The witness of the gospel begins with the first church face somebody sees. If the first person you see appears to be angry and unfriendly, it’s hard to forget that face. On the other hand, an energetic greeter can set an entirely different tone for the guest.
- Churches concerned about first impressions often have an outward focus. That focus may not be as strong as a pastor wants, but the church emphasizing strong first impressions is typically thinking in the right direction.
What other reasons would you add to this list?
In my experience, new people to a church are often coming needing some pastoral care, often grief-centered. It may not show at first, but it is the first think I consider and listen for when chatting with them.
A new job might be a reason for happiness, but moving, the loss of a home they loved, the church where they began to raise a family, maybe where they were married – grief is beneath the surface of their wondering faces. If they are trying to replicate that endearing church, their grief might be the reality that they won’t find a clone.
Others may have decided to leave a church they once loved and still do, but for whatever reason – often during church conflict – choose to leave.
Because of doctrine others arrive feeling they were not welcome in their congregation anymore and may have even changed denominations.
Newly retired pastors who come to a new church other than their last one, smile when congratulated about retiring, but wonder who they are without a church, some feeling their call died. “I didn’t work to live. I lived to work.” Some clergy I’ve known would not confess they were lonely, wondering what their purpose is after retiring.
A single woman or man – newly divorced – may have had to leave the church they previously attended with their former spouse. Sadly some churches do take sides and they arrive in your pews feeling abandoned, searching.
Grief often accompanies newcomers.
It takes a lot of courage to walk through the doors of a new church. And it takes a deep love of Christ to willingly care for the stranger in our midst – baggage and all.
“The first church face somebody sees” – I’ve struggled with this. At our church, we have a door greeter/usher who is socially awkward and suffers from extreme anxiety – but someone in leadership has suggested that he do this (presumably because there’s not much that he can reliably do). He is very off-putting to people – such that there are even some church members who will enter by a different door. If we are talking only about church members, of course, we should be loving and encouraging toward him. But he’s been put in a ‘front and center’ position and affects visitors. What might be the answer?