Recently, I wrote a post titled, “11 Signs of a Family-Run Church.” Apparently, that post hit a nerve for many readers who’ve seen that kind of church. Some readers also asked about another kind of church they’ve seen: the “pastor-controlled” church. So, here are characteristics I’ve seen in this church:
- The pastor is not vulnerable—or ever wrong. He guards his space, keeps his distance from his congregation, and never says, “I was wrong” or “I’m sorry.” Even when it seems he might have been wrong, he deflects blame to others.
- The pastor has no accountability to anyone. I’m not convinced that the New Testament demands a plurality of elders in every case, but I am convinced that we’re never to lead on our own. Controlling pastors lead without input from others.
- Staff turnover (particularly of good staff) is high. Those who depart may not always be honest about their struggle with the pastor, but few staff members stay very long. If you give them an honest exit interview, their complaints about the pastor are remarkably similar.
- The unspoken (and sometimes spoken) message is, “Comply or leave.” Members who don’t get fully on board with the pastor’s agenda are encouraged/invited/asked/pushed to move on to another church. Even simple questions are unwelcomed.
- Every decision requires the pastor’s stamp of approval. No matter the significance of the decision, no one can make that decision without the pastor’s involvement. The proverbial “buck” really does stop with him—in every case.
- Faithful, mature, growing, discerning believers don’t stay long at the church. They recognize that they’re likely not welcomed or needed, so they usually quietly move on. They want to be in a church that allows them to maximize their giftedness.
- Seldom, if ever, does the pastor invite others to preach. Sometimes that’s because the pulpit is his primary means to influence—even discipline—others; at other times, it’s because he doesn’t want to share the limelight. He might see others who preach well as a threat.
- If the church has a “leadership team,” the team members are usually “yes” men and women. Hence, the “leadership team” neither leads nor truly functions as a team. Their sole role is to affirm whatever the pastor wants.
- The pastor does not disciple others, call out “the called,” or send faithful members to the nations. All of these pastoral responsibilities require a sacrificial outward focus—which a controlling a pastor does not have.
- The congregation has given up hope that things will get better. Eventually, even the most faithful members decide, “Nothing’s going to change as long as ______ is our pastor.” The members endure rather than enjoy church.
What would you add to this list? How might you now pray for your pastor or other pastors?
Sounds a lot more like a cult than the NT church
Thank you. An excellent summarisation and very helpful.
Our Pastor is so controlling and defensive…controls everything..
even down to controlling what is in the storage unit…
Our Pastor seems to have a controlling spirit using tactics folks just seem to grown accustomed to. My wife and I been blessed with a ministry to help poor and homeless it helps us to not get caught up with church drama or politics. We are there for God.
When a Shepherd has been hurt and betrayed sometimes fear will cause a wall of defense to go up. Without really understanding that fear can ultimately lead to an attitude which says” You will not hurt me again, I’m the Pastor/Shepherd and I call the shots. Then this leads to a door of control and a denial and refusal to examine self.
Yeah the church I just left has two controlling pastors who are compensated very well yet seem to be always asking the congregates for more money.Reminding them that the church is in the red. They recently removed the worship director after 17 years of service to the church. When I asked the senior pastor why she was removed, he simply said to me.”She would not obey me” I was a musician under her Godly leadership at this church and the congregation loved her very much. God used her to reach the broken hearted but the senior pastor wanted complete control over her and forced her to step down.
Thank God, I am lucky i’m not late. At least I now have understood what’s going here at my church. Please pray for the believers of my church, many have been deceived.