How can pastors effectively minister to their congregation and also strengthen their families? Here are seven suggestions:
- Prioritize family realistically. In my early ministry, I unsuccessfully employed a popular priority model: “God first, family second, church third.” I quickly learned few decisions fell so nicely into that structured paradigm! Pastoral ministry requires fluidity that allows for interruptions and emergencies. We must prioritize family time, yet remain flexible enough to address urgent matters wisely.
- Teach family ministry in the church. Regularly emphasizing family care in preaching and teaching helps churches grow healthier families. Members learn to invest time in the spiritual development of their own families and also grow in their appreciation for their pastor’s efforts to do the same in his.
- Have family devotions. Family devotions are relatively easy and require little time to be effective. What is more, a pastor blesses his wife when taking her by the hand and leading in prayer. And, ties with children are strengthened when fathers regularly pray with each of them.
- Schedule “dates” with family members. Having a regularly scheduled day or time to be with each family member provides meaningful moments that strengthen the family. Marriages grow stronger when pastors and wives share quality time together. Children feel honored knowing their father has scheduled special time just to be with them.
- Be careful about making promises to family. Because of daily uncertainties, ministers should avoid making promises they may not be able to keep. Inevitable emergencies require immediate attention that may result in rescheduled plans. Most family members understand occasional interruptions, but if we habitually fail to keep our promise to “be there,” we create unnecessary resentment.
- Endeavor to keep family commitments. While avoiding making promises we cannot keep, we must also recognize not every ministry demand requires immediate action. Leaning upon other staff or volunteers allows others to minister and helps us keep family commitments. Suggesting alternatives to members is also helpful: “I’ve got a commitment this evening, but I’m free in the morning. What’s a good time for you?”
- Rest in God’s sovereignty over your family. Family devotions and quality time are essential to developing healthy families, but they are no guarantee families will not struggle. For reasons often known only to God, some families experience great hardships and difficulties. Especially in these times, we are strengthened by remembering God is sovereign and always does what is right.
Pastors, what would you add to this list? Family members, what would you want to add?