Wednesday Words: My Thoughts on Why I Allow Things to Keep Me Awake at Night (and a way to let us know if you want us to pray for you about this tendency)

Sometimes, I let concerns and worries so grab my attention that I lose sleep at night. Today, I admit some of the reasons I still struggle here, in hopes of helping all of us worriers move in the right direction of trusting God.

1. I don’t automatically apply the Word to my worries. I do eventually, but I don’t always immediately ask, “What does the Word teach me about trusting God here?” My delay in application only facilitates worry.
2. I tend to try to resolve the issue without always praying like I should. My first step is often to try to figure out a way to fix the problem. My tendency to be a fixer first doesn’t always help me to throw my concerns at God’s feet.
3. I’m often reticent to turn to others for support when I’m worried. Sometimes the situation doesn’t allow me to share details, but I should know by now that sharing a burden reduces the level of worry. At least, I should know it enough to do it more often.
4. I don’t get enough rest. It’s interesting how it works – when my body’s tired, my mind sometimes goes into overdrive by magnifying worries.
5. I don’t like conflict. I know it’s unavoidable if I want to lead well, but I’ve never liked conflict. I want everyone to be at peace with me, and I sometimes allow my desire for peace to consume me. Again, it’s strange: my desire to avoid conflict only creates more.
6. I expect myself to be perfect. Of course, I know better intellectually. The fact that I’m writing this post shows that I have much, much room to grow. Knowing that fact, however, doesn’t mean I always apply it. My nights are sometimes tied up with, “Why did I handle it that way? Surely I know better.”
7. I tend to take on too much. When you do that, you invite worry as long as something hangs over your head. Whatever is left hanging feels especially weighty at night.  
8. The night time is my down time. Frankly, I can stay busy enough during the day to push past my worries. At night, though, my mind too easily races in the wrong direction. Couple that tendency with the fact that I often don’t sleep well in general, and worrisome nights can be the result.

Here’s the bottom line for me: even as a Christian leader, learning to trust God fully is a day-to-day, moment-by-moment task. Actually, it’s a night-by-night task for some of us. With this post, I commit myself to praying each night, “Lord, help me to rest in Your love as I sleep tonight.”

Let us know if you’d like us to pray for you as well. May God grant all of us the sweet rest of a baby wrapped in his parent’s arms.