12 Ways to Confront Someone in Sin

Sometimes we must confront someone in sin. That’s never an easy task (or, at least, it shouldn’t be). Here are some thoughts about how we need to confront—and I’m certainly open to hearing your critique.

1. Biblically. The Scriptures give us guidance in confronting others (e.g., Matt 18:15-20, Gal 6:1). Ignoring the Word is never a wise move.
2. Prayerfully. We need God’s help and guidance whenever we’re speaking into someone else’s life.
3. Relationally. Your ministry position may require you to confront without a strong relationship, but it’s simply easier to confront someone in sin when you already have an ongoing relatiionship with him or her.
4. Personally. Using our voice is important when confronting someone. An in-person meeting or phone call is better than a text or email.
5. Humbly. Were it not for the grace of God, all of us could be caught in the enemy’s web.
6. Prudently. My point here is this: if we aren’t sure what’s really happening—and thus, we’re still trying to determine the truth—questions for clarification are usually better than accusation.
7. Quickly. That is not to say we should be hasty; instead, it’s a call to confront sooner than later. The longer a person is in sin, the harder it is to break the pattern.
8. Clearly. Confrontation is not the time to “beat around the bush.” It’s tough for someone to deal with his or her sin when it’s not defined or specified.
9. Redemptively. The goal of confrontation should be repentance and restoration; it is not to be proven right.
10. Sorrowfully. Sometimes we grieve the sin of others more than they do (see this post if you have a prodigal in your life)—but our anguish might move their heart, too.
11. Lovingly. We might assume this one, but we often need this reminder: love of God and love of others should cover our confrontation efforts.
12. Mutually. That is, include yourself in the solution if possible: “I want to walk with you toward victory over this struggle.”

What would you add to this list? What would you change on it?