I admit that my evidence for this post is anecdotal; that is, I’m simply reporting what others in these groups have reported to me. Nevertheless, it’s worth our hearing when the “fellowship” of the church isn’t all that it could, or should, be.
- College parachurch groups. I’ve heard from more than one college student who say (a) they have a tough time connecting in the church, and (2) the church often doesn’t teach deeply enough. Their parachurch group becomes their de facto church.
- Gym workout friends. Granted, they share a common bond of taking care of themselves physically—but they don’t always find a similar bond among believers seeking to take care of themselves spiritually.
- Motorcycle clubs. Christian motorcycle clubs, of course, provide unique fellowship. Even clubs without a Christian affiliation, though, often provide friendships and purpose that some members haven’t found in the church.
- Addiction support groups. The members naturally gravitate toward each other because they face a common enemy – but the same people sometimes feel uncomfortable sharing that burden in the church.
- Online community groups. I suppose the assumed anonymity and ongoing communication of this kind of group makes it attractive, but some people find seem to find their life purpose online.
I’m convinced that the primary problem, however, is not that people are looking for fellowship in the wrong places (though that’s clearly an issue). Rather, it is that the local church fails to understand what New Testament, life-on-life, personal accountability, Christian family fellowship is all about. Too many believers understand fellowship to be nothing more than gathering on Sunday and eating “fellowship meals” together. If that’s all Christian fellowship is, it’s no wonder that many people look in other directions to meet this need.
What are your thoughts? What other groups might you add to the list?
Rotary clubs have fellowship and allow members to conceive and work on massive projects, e.g. eradicating polio. The Jewish Federation brings together Jews from all the denominations to unite for common causes and get to know each other. While they might have a joint celebration of Purim, they also have events that are not religious in nature. Some of these are business networking events or charity events.
These are just 2 examples, but Christian events are often hard to find as it seems that most are church-sponsored for their own members and outsiders are not always wanted. In big cities, people who work all the time wonder who else is out there with anything in common.
This is insightful and what I’ve been trying to communicate for a decade. It is what drove our church’s move to a small group ministry philosophy.
#2 is everywhere in the US. Local health clubs call themselves a “family.” They act in many ways like the church. They encourage when the workout is hard. They hold accountable when failing. They evangelize in attempts to bring people they care for into their group. They check up on people when they’re missing. They listen attentively to the instructors who exist to help them change.
I’d add the communities that form around traveling sports teams and the larger clubs of which the individual teams are a part. The kids on the teams become closer to the other team members than they are to the children in their own church. The parents connect because they are together for hours on end on Saturdays and Sundays. They travel together. They eat together. They share rides. They share a common passion.
It is like when parents come together for support of a private school. They aren’t typically going to turn people away who want to participate or work on fund raising. They also pass around the leadership of the organization and take turns on committees and chairing them. In churches that use committees, I never saw a church allow anyone new to be on a committee. There were no fixed terms, just a permanent appointment if you were in the in-crowd.
I have been in a majority of these kinds of groups. I have seen false senses of community, competition and judgment, and temporary friendships just like Church. I think that what makes a group develop good fellowship is consistency and time. When you meet every Tuesday night for five years or a couple times a week for six months or you are texting throughout the week to encourage one another or things like that, it is human nature to develop bonds.
The issue with Church I think is that most people see their church family no more than once a week – And many of them less than that
I find a fear of inviting strangers to a church by the professional staff. I am controversial I admit it. A common complaint in my online community is single people can not find there age range on a church website. Churches do not understand you need six or more people in an age range to find fellowship.
Yes! I see this reflected in women’s ministry as well. Another place people find community are neighborhood groups – we live in a large neighborhood that offers book clubs, dinner groups, exercise classes, bingo nights, etc. Those present some great outreach opportunities, but they also often override activities at church.