10 Questions for Pastors to Ask Their Families

Pastors, want to have an honest conversation with your family? Consider using these questions if you’re willing to take a risk: 

  1. What have I done well as a husband and father? I know I’m not perfect, and I do want to make sure I at least keep doing whatever I do well.
  2. Does my love for you as my wife reflect the way I say Jesus loves the church? I preach about Christ’s love for us, but do I live up to that model?
  3. Have I ever embarrassed you from the pulpit? It’s not my intent to do so, but I know I could have crossed a line at some point.
  4. Do you now, or have you ever, seen me as a hypocrite? You know me best, so be honest with me. I’ll try not to be defensive.
  5. Knowing me as you do, would you want me to be your pastor if I weren’t your husband or father? I want to know that you trust my walk with God.
  6. Based on what you know about me, do I read my Bible and pray on days other than Sunday? I want to be a good role model for you during the entire week.
  7. Have you ever felt like I was more committed to the church than to you? I fear what you will tell me, but I need to hear your candid thoughts.
  8. What can I do to show my love for you better than I do? I don’t always clearly see reality, so help me know what I might do.
  9. Have I ever treated you as “the preacher’s wife” or “the preacher’s kids” more than as my loved family? Please forgive me if I’ve ever seen you more as a role than as a person.
  10. What goal can we set together for the rest of the year? Let’s make a plan to strengthen our relationship over the next ten months.

What other questions would you add to this list? 


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