It’s no secret that Satan aims his arrows at families. In fact, the most-read post on this site over the last eight years is “12 Ways Satan Attacks Christian Marriages.” My concern today is that our marriages are often more vulnerable to attack because our churches haven’t helped much. Here are some reasons for our vulnerability:
- Churches have not taught the reality of spiritual warfare and relationships. Satan has aimed at marriages since the Garden of Eden, but we tend to neglect this teaching. A failure to teach this truth is a failure in spiritual leadership, in my opinion.
- We have few healthy role models that we know well. We may see marriages that look strong, but we seldom set up good ministries that allow us to walk closely with healthy couples. If it happens, it happens by accident more than by design.
- We spend more time cleaning up bad marriages than helping to grow strong ones. Ministry requires us to do this work, but we might have fewer messes if we spent more time helping new and older couples alike better set the right foundation for their marriages.
- We men are often unwilling to talk about our battles. When we never talk about our struggles, we battle alone – and the enemy almost always wins when no one is walking with us.
- We couples are also unwilling to talk about our struggles. We hide behind the closed doors of our conflict rather than talk with a trusted Christian friend or pastor. By the time we do open up, the devastation is often deep.
- We don’t teach young people enough about a biblical picture of marriage. They sometimes hear what describes an unbiblical marriage, but they don’t often hear the positive view.
- We don’t pray for marriages until they’re in trouble. Let’s be honest: many of us have friends whose marriages fell apart, and we didn’t pray for them until we learned they were in trouble. We need to pray for each other’s marriages before trouble sets in.
- Our sex drives are strong. God created us with this desire, and the enemy does everything he can do to distort it in the wrong directions. Few of us are immune from this kind of attack.
- We often enter marriage with an “out.” If divorce is an option from the beginning – which is what the world teaches – we start marriage with one foot already on the devil’s turf.
- We don’t understand Satan’s hatred of our children. He hates our kids more than we love them, and he delights when our adult decisions wound the next generations.
- We fail to realize the power of our words. The tongue really is powerful (James 3:1-11). When we forget that truth, we scar the people we love.
- Husbands don’t take the lead in praying with our spouses and children. If we leave this responsibility to others, men, we shouldn’t be surprised when the enemy comes after our home.
What would you add to this list? Where is your marriage most vulnerable?