One of the greatest difficulties people experience is death of a loved one. And yet, a funeral service can be one of the most important times to minister to someone. This list of suggestions, while not exhaustive, can help you plan a meaningful ceremony.
- Be present for family visitation. If the family has a visitation for their deceased loved one, they usually gather before public visitation. Being there early gives the pastor an opportunity to greet family and support them as they arrive. His quiet presence can help them grieve as they prepare to receive visitors. Where logistics allow, pray with the family just prior to their entering the room to view their loved one.
- Recommend to the family an order of service. Ask family for favorite Scripture passages of their loved one. If they want music in the service, lead them to consider no more than 1-3 songs that progress naturally from the more contemplative to the more celebratory. If family members want to share personal remarks, plan for their input just prior to a song or the gospel message. Work to move the service naturally from grief to gospel hope.
- Weave biography of the loved one into the gospel message. Rather than simply reading the obituary as part of the service (or, in addition to it if the family requests it), weave biographical information into the funeral message itself. Include encouraging reflections from those who have shared their stories with you. Thoughtfully weaving life details into your sermon conveys greater warmth and feeling than just reading the obituary.
- Keep the service brief. Generally, 30-40 minutes is ample time for a meaningful funeral service. If the service is much shorter, it may suggest not enough thought went into planning. If it is too long, people may grow restless. The family may already be exhausted not only from their grief, but also from greeting others during the visitation. Keeping the service brief helps them continue through a very difficult day.
- Preach the gospel. The ceremony should culminate in gospel proclamation. Some of my favorite texts include Psalm 23, Matthew 14:12, John 14:1-3, and 2 Timothy 4:6-8. The sermon should build from biographical information to a focus upon the Lord Jesus. If the service is for a believer, sharing gospel truths about heaven is especially encouraging. If the service is for an unbeliever or one whose faith was unknown, emphasizing the comfort of Christ strengthens hurting families. Only God knows the state of each person’s soul, so pastors should choose their words carefully. Finally, include an evangelistic appeal near the end of every message.
Pastors: What suggestions would you add for preaching funerals?
Todd the idea of moving the service from grief to gospel hope is quite helpful. Thanks
Thank you, Phillip!
excellent points and thank you for the Gospel reminder. Many have moved from having funerals to Celebration of Life ceremonies. I am finding less and less opportunities to do traditional services. Would be interested in what others are experiencing and you are responding. Thanks
Thank you, Ron. Blessings, my friend