First, I am grateful to Dr. Albert Mohler and his daily “Briefing” that alerted me to a U.S. Surgeon General study on loneliness that gave rise to this post. As I read about an “epidemic of loneliness” in North America, I was reminded that even believers are susceptible to this problem. Here are some reasons why:
- We don’t understand creation. God created us with a need for other human beings (Gen 2:18). We need Him, and we need others who help us experience Him and His love. When we don’t recognize our God-given need for others, it’s easy to slip into isolation and hiding.
- No one has taught us a biblical understanding of fellowship. Fellowship is much more than food; it’s the gathering of God’s people for the task of provoking each other to good works (Heb 10:24). If we miss this point, however, we too often reduce fellowship to a self-centered focus. That’s lonely.
- We have not done a good job of dealing with the brokenness of our families. Even the children of Christian homes sometimes bear the scars of broken relationships. The adult decisions we make today hinder our children from having healthy relationships later.
- We’ve not done a good job of equipping believers to have healthy relationships in general. We just assume they’ll figure it out on their own, even if they’ve seldom seen many genuinely healthy relationships even in the church.
- Division in the church is increasingly the norm. Politically-charged issues have broken friendships and wounded congregations. It’s tough to build healthy relationships when we see others as the enemy.
- We have failed at connecting the generations in our churches. I’m not arguing that there’s no place for age-graded/life stage ministry strategies, but I am arguing that all generations need each other. It would do most of us good to have strong relationships with people of different ages (and, see this blog post about ways to connect the generations).
- We too often live in hiddenness because we perceive our churches are not “safe” places to confess sin and seek support. We’re afraid to speak even to brothers and sisters we ought to trust, and we choose instead to live on our own. That’s a recipe for loneliness.
- Life is so busy we don’t take the time to know people. With every move we’ve made in ministry, I was convinced life would slow down. Now, I realize that life doesn’t slow down unless you take intentional steps in that direction. Busyness hinders relationships.
What other causes come to mind for you?
