Even as a believer, I’ve dealt with the issue of anger, and I know both the brokenness of the ongoing battle and the sweetness of daily, long-term victory. If you wonder if anger might be an issue for you, use these questions below as a checklist to see if you might be another church leader with that problem.
- Do you immediately respond defensively when someone disagrees with you? If you tense up whenever you’re perceived to be wrong, your body language is telling you something.
- Do you ever want to throw something? Even if you just think about it, your thoughts come from somewhere within you.
- Do you respond in intense frustration when you try, but fail at something? Your response may well be anger, even if it’s only internal.
- Do others tell you that you have an anger problem? If others see it in you, it’s there. If you deny it when others see it, that’s even worse.
- Are you impatient and easily irritated? Being both doesn’t always indicate an anger issue, but it’s likely. Impatience and irritation usually show themselves quite clearly.
- Do you ever justify your reaction with verses like “Be angry and sin not” (Eph 4:26)? There is a time when righteous anger is acceptable, but most of us know when we’re simply baptizing our wrath to make us feel better.
- Do you have particular “buttons” that produce a strong emotional response when pushed? Maybe it’s the name of a person or a church you never forgave. It might be a past failure you’ve never fully moved beyond. If those buttons are still sensitive, you might want to be honest about your feelings.
- Do you know you get angry, but then only internalize it? Just “blowing off steam” isn’t healthy, but nor is holding in the anger. Men are particularly good at letting anger just build up in us until it erupts.
- Are your family members ever afraid of you? That’s a clear sign your anger is at times out of control.
- Do you often have to pray prayers of confession about your overreactions? If you find yourself often confessing your anger, you probably have an issue that hinders your leadership.
If answering these questions causes concern for you, let me know how I might pray for you.