I started studying spiritual warfare when Eph 6:12—“our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this darkness, against evil, spiritual forces in the heavens”—came to life for me. This truth gripped me at a time when I was struggling to love my dad, who at the time was not a believer. He had been a volatile, angry man as we were growing up, and I both feared him and hated him at the same time. My Christian conversion only compounded my guilt over my feelings toward him; but, apart from discipleship, I did not know how to overcome these feelings. What Eph 6:12 did was show me that my dad was not my enemy—Satan and his forces were.
Thus, my journey into studying spiritual warfare began with an intensely personal focus. I wanted freedom from my wrong feelings toward my dad. I no longer wanted to face the ongoing conviction and guilt I experienced because I had not overcome these feelings as a believer. When I read books challenging me to recognize particular demons (such as what others identified as demons of hatred or demons of bitterness) that might have been influencing my life, it didn’t take long for me to begin looking for demonic forces everywhere. Identifying the demons rather than repenting over my sin wrongly became my focus.
I desperately needed someone to correct and teach me along the way, but that had never been my pattern before that point. For example, as a young male who grew up in a home filled with pornography, I regularly faced that temptation alone as a teenager even after I became a believer. In no way was I going to let anyone know my secret. When I later became a pastor, I faced a different struggle of trying to shepherd a people when I had never been discipled myself. I had no one to invest in me and show me “the ropes” of ministry, and I made mistake after mistake. In fact, that God allowed me to stay in ministry at all is only evidence of his grace.
Even later after I married my wife, I had never seen personally how a husband loves his wife as Christ loves the church (Eph 5:21). I selfishly protected my independence and fought my responsibility to give myself fully to become one with my spouse. I loved Pam the best I could, but I just did not know what a godly husband looked like. I was already a pastor then, so I again refrained from asking anyone to guide me. In my personal life, my ministry, and my marriage, I was fighting alone and losing alone far too often. I was neither the disciple nor the disciple maker I should have been.
Much of that changed when I met Robert Coleman, author of the best-selling book The Master Plan of Evangelism, when I was a young seminary professor. Dr. Coleman, who for more than sixty years has invested in others, challenged me to spend the rest of my life investing in younger believers. I took that challenge to heart.
It did not take me long, though, to realize I needed someone to mentor me if I were going to mentor others. Though the friendships God has given me differ, older men through the years have modeled Christian faithfulness for me. They have pointed me to Christ by the way they imitated Him. I will always be grateful for men such as Sonney, Red, Ed, Ronnie, Mike, Dave, Ralph, and so many others who modeled victory in Christ for me, even when they faced tough times.
These relationships have changed my daily walk with God. They have not only reminded me that I must not face the enemy alone, but they have also shown me God’s grace in providing others to walk with me. I have learned that victory is sweetest when others faithfully run the race with us—and even defeat is less consuming when others quickly pick us up and challenge us again.
Who is walking with you today?
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*This material is found in William F. Cook III, and Chuck Lawless, Victory over the Enemy (pp. 233-234). B&H Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.