12 Surprising Things Church Members Said to Guests

Over the years that I’ve done church consulting, I’ve heard about (and heard personally) some surprising things that church members have said to guests. Here are a few of them:

1. “Excuse me, you’re in my seat.” Our secret shopper wasn’t aware that everyone had an assigned seat.
2. “Well, I never thought I’d see you in church.” I knew this first-time guest, and it was indeed surprising he was there – but it probably wasn’t best that the church member verbalized her surprise.
3. “Women don’t wear slacks in this church.” This guest didn’t know the local rules, but she learned them quickly.
4. “You’re late – you’ll need to sit in the front.” This usher was completely unhelpful to guests who actually had a good reason for being late.
5. “We’ll take your children to children’s church while you go to worship.” It’s not a bad thing to help parents, but this volunteer assumed too much: that the parents wanted their children to go there, and that they would release their kids to someone they had just met.
6. “Our new pastor’s not a very good preacher.” This member was apparently not pleased with the church’s new leader.
7. “If I’d known you were the guest preacher’s wife, I would have said something to you.” My wife was the guest preacher’s wife, and I was standing beside her. Neither one of us knew what to say.
8. “I just want you to know that we started this church because we wanted to be the hymn-singing, robe-wearing church in the community.” They were that church, and seemingly, this church member was responsible for guarding that commitment. He told me these words when I was the guest preacher for that day. 
9. “You can’t do this.” The member was letting the guest know that the church allows only members to take the Lord’s Supper, but her approach was unfortunate.
10. “Please stand and tell us your name.” I didn’t think this kind of greeting happened anymore, but it does.
11. “I don’t know who these people are–I reserved the whole row!” This person was indignant that somebody had put her purse on one of the “reserved” chairs. I thought she was rude in her comments–and I thought even more so when I realized the purse belonged to my wife. 
12. “Do you want to go to a friendly one?” If I weren’t there, I wouldn’t believe this one. I was the guest, and I asked someone at the church’s welcome center to direct me to a Sunday school class. I didn’t know what to say . . .