I’m not sure many church members know the different kinds of life situations a pastor deals with. As I think back over my ministry career, I’m reminded of difficult scenarios that have demanded pastoral care. In no particular order, here are twelve ministry situations for which I was unprepared – and which still give rise to some grief when I think about them.
- Standing by as a baby died. I can still remember hearing the hospital monitors go silent as the sobs of the parents grew louder. All I could do was stand there and hold up two adults overwhelmed by grief.
- Losing a friend over a church matter. As I look back, the matter wasn’t even that important. It was significant enough, though, that he felt it necessary to end our friendship. Those words still sting as I write them.
- Watching children grieve their parents’ divorce. Even their pastor couldn’t help them understand, because I didn’t understand what was happening, either.
- Telling a church member that the church was going to remove him from membership. He had rejected any attempts we had made for reconciliation, and exclusion was the next option to try to convince him of the seriousness of his sin. It was the right move, but I don’t want to go through it again.
- Officiating a funeral of a non-believer. As far as we knew, she had never trusted Christ in faith and repentance. My theology gave her no hope for anything but judgment, and yet I had to try to comfort the family.
- Watching friends lose their ministry over sinful choices. Some of the fallen folks I’ve known have also been some of the most gifted people I’ve known. It’s never easy to see Satan win, even if you know that God and His people win in the end.
- Learning of the first divorce of a couple whose wedding I officiated. I committed myself as a young pastor to do all I could do to help couples marry well and stay married. I wept when I learned that my plans wouldn’t always work.
- Facing false accusations from a church member. An older member was sure I was trying to run his family out of the church. He was wrong, but it took a long time to convince him otherwise.
- Visiting a church member in jail. I was convinced he had changed when he joined our church, but I learned otherwise. I was both angry and sad when I talked with him with a guard nearby.
- Officiating the funeral of a church member who committed suicide. I had done all I knew to do to help him, and I thought he was moving in a positive direction. I was wrong.
- Grieving when a close friend left the faith. He made his decision and refused any further conversations. This situation was one of many that pushed me to simply trust God.
- Saying “good-bye” to a church I loved. I knew God was calling me to a new place, but saying good-bye to a church family is a unique pain.
Despite tough ministry situations like these, pastoring God’s people still brings great joy. Pray for your pastors today as they serve the Lord and lead your church.