I’ve been there – when the anguish of life is so heavy that you can’t even speak . . . even to God. Yet, not praying hardly seems to be the right thing to do in those times. So, here are some things to do when you’re struggling so much that you can’t even pray:
- Decide if it’s a sin issue that keeps you from praying. If your pain is the result of your continuing in sin, you have no option but to confess your wrong and seek God’s forgiveness. God’s grace can reopen your prayer channel.
- Don’t be afraid to just let your tears flow. Sometimes grief or heartache is so overwhelming that we can’t put our feelings into words. It feels like all we can do is groan for God’s intervention—and He hears that, too.
- Struggle through a short prayer, being honest with God. That is, a few words are okay . . . even if the words are, “God, I can’t pray right now.” He knows your heart, and He can hear beyond your words.
- Get someone else to pray for you and with you. Find another believer who can intercede for you. You don’t have to be the one whose voice says the words you want to say.
- Meditate on the Word. If you can’t talk to God, let Him talk to you. Read some of the psalms, recognizing that you’re not the first person to wrestle through grief and pain. You might find that your listening to God makes it easier to talk to Him.
- Write your prayer. I’ve found it helpful to write my prayer when I couldn’t speak it. Sometimes putting the words on paper also helps bring clarity to my hurting thinking.
- Just sit quietly with God and listen. It seldom hurts us to sit still, be quiet, meditate on God, and just listen – especially when we’re struggling. God has a powerful way of calming our soul when we just listen.
- Listen to hymns or praise music. Sometimes, simple worship opens our heart to pray more. Many times, in fact, a song can be a prayer.
- Take a walk, knowing that Jesus is praying for you. That’s what Hebrews 7:25 and Romans 8:34 tell us. The exercise will be good for you, and the trust in the Word will strengthen you.
What do you do when you can’t even pray?
When I am struggling for words, I admit to God that I don’t know what to say. I ask God to give me the right words. One of the reasons we get hung up on the words is that we are asking God to grant us a boon, an archaic word for a favor or request. In Medieval society people on the lower rungs of the social ladder asked people on the higher rank of the social ladder to grant them a boon. We want to use the right words. But we cannot come up with them. We forget that we are praying through Jesus and therefore we can pour out our heart to God, even if we stumble over the words. We can share our joys and sorrows with him.A phrase that Aslan in C.S. Lewis’ The Horse and His Boy in the Narnia Chronicles may be helpful. Aslan was addressing the horse’s boy Shasta. “What are your sorrows?” Aslan asked him. Shasta then told Aslan all the things that happened to him. God, like Aslan, wants to hear our sorrows. I also ask the Holy Spirit for his help in praying. Sometimes recalling to mind the past mercies that God has shown us and thanking him can release us in prayer. There is also such a thing as wordless prayer. God knows our thoughts. In wordless prayer we direct our thoughts to God and appeal for his intervention. I find it much easier to offer brief prayers to God throughout the day than spend a half an hour or more praying. The Book of Common Prayer or a prayer manual can be helpful tool. Praying the prayers in the Prayer Book or prayer manual can serve as a springboard to our own prayer. I don’t know if you are familiar with the old-fashioned hand pumps. When you have not used the pump for a while, you have to pour water into it and prime it before it will draw up water from the well again. The prayers in The Book of Common Prayer or a prayer manual can help to prime the pump so to speak. The thing that anyone using the Prayer Book or a prayer manual needs to keep in mind is that their own prayers do not need to be as formal or eloquent as the prayers in these resources. .
Sometimes you just say one of the creeds, the Gloria, one of the Lamentations, or the Psalms. Additionally, in a liturgical church, you can go give an offering and light one of the votive candles at most times of the day.