Later this week, I will celebrate my 49th spiritual birthday as a follower of Jesus. I will always be grateful for that church in Ohio who loved me, taught me, and challenged me to be faithful. At the same time, though, my “discipleship” largely consisted of “come to everything we offer, and you’ll grow in Jesus.” For a 13-year-old guy living with non-believing parents at the time, that strategy was insufficient.
In fact, here’s what I remember about those undiscipled days – and I’m praying my memories will challenge you to strengthen the intentional discipleship in your church:
- I heard the leaders tell me I needed to read the Bible and pray, but I didn’t know how. I tried, but it was tough to do when no one had really taught me how. In fact, I often prayed exactly what I heard others pray because that’s all I knew.
- I wrestled with ongoing sin, often because I didn’t know you could talk with other believers about losing battles. Nobody talked about accountability and confession to one another in those days. We just kept surrendering to temptation instead.
- I knew the Lord had called me to preach (actually, the same day He saved me), but I had no idea what that calling would require. Our church was excited about my calling, but I still had to figure it out on my own. Attending everything the church offered was not enough to answer my questions.
- I learned the “language” of Christianity without always walking the walk. It didn’t take me long to realize that Christians have their own lingo—and you can leave a good impression if you know that insider talk. Too often my words were hypocritical back then, but they sounded good.
- I was both happy to be part of the Christian family and lonely at the same time. My church family really did become family to me, but again, I didn’t know that Christian faith was to be life-on-life . . . vulnerable . . . deep . . . accountable. Looking back, so much of it was surface level that it didn’t always reach to my heart.
- I wasn’t sure what to do the first time I saw church conflict in action. It was at a church business meeting, and I’m sure the topic was an important one—but I was unprepared for the emotion and division in the discussion. I don’t know if stronger discipleship would have equipped me for that, but I once again only internalized my questions and fears rather than talk to someone discipling me.
- I’m really am still deeply grateful for those folks, though. I’ve learned since then that many of those church members had not really been discipled, either—and they were simply serving God the best way they knew how. God used them in my life then, and I remember them with fondness this week of my spiritual birthday.
How about you? Were you discipled as a young believer? If not, what were the struggles you faced?